Ultra Spiritual

I heard running ultras could be a spiritual experience. The mix of long days and night, extreme physical exertion, and mental anguish can lead to some incredible highs and lows. This is what I was looking to experience. I wanted to know what this kind of running would do to me, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Emotionally, I know that it messed me up for a few days. As a non-emotional person, I experienced some rawness to my emotions that is very rare for me. It culminated in uncontrollable laughing fits for a few days after the race.

Physically, it challenged my body in ways I'd never been pushed before. You can read more about that here.

So what did running 100 miles in 26 hours do to me spiritually?

I always struggle with my call when it comes to race days. Outside of my job and ministry, I often find myself wanting to compartmentalize my life into a focus on the thing I'm doing. So when I show up to run a race, I want to let running be the emphasis of my day. I want to ignore who I am and how I'm called so I can just be a normal runner trying to reach my goals.

But that's not what God wants from us, is it? He doesn't want me to put my relationship with Jesus into a FBC compartment that comes out when appropriate. He wants me to let Him into my life at every level; being a representative of Him in whatever I'm doing.

This race, I was ready for that. I knew that I had a challenge ahead of me just in trying to run and finish such a long distance. But I also knew that my identity as a disciple of Jesus had to come out too in whatever ways I had opportunity.

So when I ran with two other guys and the subject of my job came up, I couldn't back down. I'm always afraid that if I tell strangers that I'm a Pastor, the air will change and it will become awkward. I fear that because it happens all the time. Not on this day. As the three of us with different spiritual backgrounds - cultural Mormon, atheist, Baptist - talked more and more into the day, I found that my opportunity was great. Though I wasn't there to walk them through the Gospel so they could stop running to say "the sinner's prayer", I did have every opportunity to show them a picture of Jesus and of Christians that is a far cry from what we see in the news. I prayed for these two awesome guys, I talked openly about my identity in Jesus, and listened to their ideas and thoughts about life, politics, and religion.

But then I got hurt. As my leg seized up and pain forced me to back off of running, I had to let my new friends go on ahead. "God, why would you let some stupid injury keep me from continuing with these guys?" I had actually tried to make sure I was running with purpose. Couldn't He have protected me from pulling a quad for that continued conversation? Wouldn't that glorify Him better than me limping along the gravel?

What a reminder of the mystery of God. We often like to think that He is more like a formula than a being. If only I do this, then God will do this... It doesn't work that way. Not only that, but blaming God for a pulled muscle is shallow theology. More likely, I turned wrong, slipped on a rock, or didn't cross-train enough to strengthen myself for this run.

But there I was... limping and praying. My words were these, "God, I know this is not the most important thing in the world. But I really want to finish this race. Can you help with this leg situation?" Over and over and asked God for His intervention. And believe me, I knew how little this mattered. Running 100 miles literally means nothing to the world. In fact, it can easily become a problem of pride when we just want to show people how great or tough we are. But I pleaded nonetheless.

And I made a deal. (Don't act like you haven't done it.) I offered that if God could help me to continue this race, I would make sure to give Him the credit. Though toughness has always been my most prized value, I would admit that it was not my own toughness but God's grace that allowed me to finish after an injury at 40 miles. Brutal honesty: I haven't quite lived up to my end of that deal. Ugh, pride.

There's a quote from British Olympic gold medalist Eric Liddell from the movie "Chariots of Fire" that always goes through my head when I'm running. He says to his sister, "God made me for a purpose. But He also made me fast... and when I run, I feel His pleasure."

As I pushed my body, mind, and spirit to continue under difficult circumstances - pulled quad, exhaustion, pain - I could feel the God who was there with me. Again, this may not be among the most important things I do in my life, but I believe God blesses our passions. And I can glorify Him even when doing "nonspiritual things".

A couple of other learnings...

I am a starter and not a finisher. I am impatient. I tend to look past things based on the time it will take to finish them. So ultrarunning may be exactly what I need. I'm learning patience, persistence, and how to stay in the moment. God will use those virtues in me as I continue to grow in Him.

We are not meant to be alone. I would have been lost without my crew. Matt: driving to aid stations, filling bottles, offering encouragement. Jolie and Katie: helping Matt but also running with me into the night as I began to hallucinate and just wanted to sleep. It's possible to run these things alone, but I can't imagine it. I'm reminded that none of us are created to be alone. Out of the community of God's Trinity, we are made and called into community; with each other, with God.

This was a tough race, but one in which I feel like God was at work. And He still is. As memories of that day continue to float back to me, I'm learning more of how God can use these experiences to change me.

So I'm not done. Now I'm praying for recovery and good health... cause there are more races in the spring.

Running with Cows

The Heartland 100 Spirit of the Prairie Ultra Marathon. My first 100 mile race.

Whose stupid idea was this?

It's 6am, dark, and 43 degrees outside and I'm starting off for the longest day of my life. Though it's a pretty chilly morning, this is going to be the perfect day for running. Finally, I get an ultra marathon race with good weather. My goal for the race is to finish under 24 hours and it starts out looking pretty good.

The Flint Hills of Kansas are a beautiful place to run. As the sun rose slowly over the horizon, you could see for miles over the gravel roads and prairie grassland. Though a different world than the traditional mountains of West coast ultras, it was amazing to run through the rolling hills of Kansas. And I was running great. To begin the race, I stayed towards the front of the group, maintaining a pace in the front 10 runners. After a few miles, I connected with a couple guys who had similar goals and a matched pace, so that is where the day really began.

Larry, Sam, and I found quickly that running together, chatting, and solving the world's problems were a great way to pass the hours. For the next 40 or so miles, we ran together. Though we came from very different lives, it was a blast having some good people to run with.

Things were going so great for me. My legs were feeling good, my feet were holding out great in my VFF's even on the Flint rock roads, and my nutrition was perfect. Tailwind was my basis, but for the first time ever in a race, I was actually hungry and supplementing with food from aid stations. We were on pace for under 20 hours to finish, so I was sure we'd break 24 easily.

Until mile 40. While running along, my quad began to hurt. I've never had this kind of cramping or pain, so I wasn't sure what was going on, but I was nervous. Little by little over the next few miles I felt the quad getting worse. Thankfully there was a 43 mile aid station coming with my crew of Matt, Jolie, and Katie there to meet me. At the aid station, I took extra salt, tried to massage the quad, and stretched trying to work out the cramp. Volunteers offered advice and I decided to take off again with Larry to push through and continue. It didn't take long to realize I had a problem. The leg wasn't getting better, it was getting worse.





After sending Larry off to continue his run, I walked. Maybe if I could walk a bit, it would stretch and work out the cramp so I could keep going. Ultra wisdom is that time and miles will heal most problems; just keep going. It wasn't working. I limped for 7 miles to the 50 mile aid station and turnaround, feeling like quitting may be my only option. The EMT agreed that this wasn't cramping. I either pulled or tore my quad and it was swollen and painful. What do I do? I can't imagine finishing this race in the pain that I'm in. But if this is just a pulled muscle, I will feel like a quitter. So after sitting for a few minutes at the aid station, I took an IT Band strap and strapped it around my quad as tight as I could and took off. I tried to run a little and couldn't so I walked for a few minutes, then tried to run again. Finally, I decided I was going to push no matter what. My new mantra became "Run slow, walk the hills, get there". And that is what I did. I ran slowly, feeling my quad with every step, but little by little it became bearable. We were back on!!

At the 57 aid station, it was time for some pacing, as it got darker and cooler. Katie saddled up for the next 17 miles of running into the night. After 17 miles with me, Katie stopped to rest a bit while Jolie took the next 9 mile stretch with me.

At this point I'm experiencing my biggest concern with a 100 mile race. Sleepiness. I just want to go to sleep. My body is tired, but not unbelievably so. But I'm dying to sleep. And then there is the even worse part. Chafing. I'd been using some anti-chafing lotion that I found and it DID NOT WORK! I was hurting in the "undercarriage" so badly that it affected every step. By now, this was hurting more than my quad did. I'd settled into the pain of my leg and was doing okay now.

After a slow trudge to the aid station, it was time for the home stretch. It was the last crewed station with 17 miles left to the finish. Katie never planned to pace me for nearly this far, but I was in need of company so she took off with me for the final miles.

It was tough. We're tired, my feet now hurt from all the gravel, I'm chafing, my quad is jacked up, and I'm ready to just climb into the back of my car and curl up to sleep forever. But finally, after the second sunrise of the race, Katie and I coasted to the finish line.

My goals were toast. I finished in 26:40:33 and was 24th overall out of 48 finishers. I wanted to be top 10 and under 24 hours, and was frustrated that I didn't get to meet my goal. But I'm happy that I stuck it out through the injury and finished. My buddies met our goals and finished in the top 10; congrats to Larry and Sam.

I learned a lot in this race. First and foremost, get the right kind of anti-chafing treatment. That was a big mistake. Also, my new Vibram FiveFingers Trek Ascents were great. I wore one pair for the whole 100 miles and I had one blister total by the end. I will admit that the bottoms of my feet were about over it by 80 miles in.

It was a great race! I love that I got my first 100 miler in the books. But I feel like I have a little to prove after missing out on my goals. I'm looking at you, Booneville Backroads Ultra 100 miler!

A Pleasant Creek

 I guess I put off this report. Maybe it didn't seem too important to write, but as I sit two days from my first 100 mile ultramarathon, I'm thinking I should rehash my last race.

The Pleasant Creek Trail Run takes place near Cedar Rapids, IA in Palo and offers the options of running a 15k, 30k, or 45k. These distances are based on the length of the horse trail that we run and how many loops we run. I really only signed up for this race because I had registered in the No Coast Trail Series, where I had to complete 3 of the races in Iowa to be in the standing. I had been leading the "Ultra" category all along due to my Hawkeye 50k and Booneville 100k finishes. I was hoping that by finishing the Pleasant Creek 45k, I would solidify myself at the top.

This race was even more exciting for me, as it turns out, because it was my wife's first ultramarathon attempt. After running her first half marathon this summer with our 9 year old son, Katie decided she was up for trying a trail ultra. Though the 45k is only a little further than marathon distance, it counts. Our friend Jolie was taking on the 15k as well and we were excited to see her finish too.

The Pleasant Creek Trail Run turned out to be a blast. Finally I got to run an ultramarathon on a nice day. No rain, no 20 degree temperatures, just sun and 70's. It was great.

As the race was about to begin, I stood near the back of the pack with Katie trying to get her phone and watch to sync up. Those things always work perfectly until you need them. As we fiddle with it all, the race is started and we take off. I had no plans of running with Katie since I was hoping to run this one hard and she was planning on going out conservatively. So I took off into the pack, trying to get past most runners.

I learned in Painful Elimination that getting stuck behind slower runners in a trail race can be a big hindrance, so I decided to go out fast and get past people so I had some room. I blew past a bunch of runners and found my place near some others who were going about my pace.

Though you can't ever compare midwest ultras to the mountain ultras of the west, I found this trail to be challenging due to it feeling all uphill. It wasn't a ton of actual elevation but it felt like we never came down; we just kept going up. And unlike the short steep hills of our local trails, these were long and drawn out. As I ran them on my first loop, I knew I should walk for the long term. But I didn't. Adrenaline.

As I finished the first loop I saw one other runner coming back out from the start wearing the bib number of a 45ker. Everyone else in the front was running either the 15k or 30k. So I knew I needed to catch this guy. About halfway through loop 2 I caught up to the runner ahead of me, and eventually dropped him. I was feeling good and as I came across the 2nd loop finish, they seemed surprised that I was a 45ker already. Was I in first place?

The 3rd loop was tough. I should have walked more uphills earlier, and my body was tired; but I knew that the guy I'd passed before could come up on me at any moment so I had to keep moving. I kept going, ran through aid stations without stopping, and began to entertain the idea that I could win. At one of the aid stations the volunteers told me they thought I was the first of the 45k runners to come through, so I started to believe it. I could win my first race as long as I don't let someone catch me.

Finally, the last stretch. As I came in towards the finish, I saw Kate going out on her 3rd loop. She looked strong and hadn't called it a day after 2 loops. I was proud to see her going back out to finish.

As I ran hard to the finish, I heard a volunteer yell out, "2nd place in the 45k..." Nuts.

Apparently another runner had been way ahead of me from the beginning. He beat me by close to 25 minutes and I'd never seen him. Oh well. For my 4th ultra and a race I hadn't even considered the option of placing, I got 2nd.

And Katie finished her first ultra. She had a horrible 3rd loop as her phone and watch both died and she had no way to gauge her progress, and no music to keep her going. But she didn't quit. She kept on until the finish and is an ultra runner. I'm more proud of her finish than mine. She went from an early summer half marathon to a tough trail 45k. That's toughness.

Gear: I wore my new Vibram FiveFingers Spyridon MR Elite shoes and they were great. They kept out the mud and gunk from getting inside and gave great traction through the race. Otherwise, I counted on my Epson Runsense SF-810 watch for tracking, my Ultimate Direction hydration vest, and my Flipbelt for my phone. I didn't need my Plantronics Backbeat Fit bluetooth headphones this time. I just listened to the woods, my steps, and my breath. I'm finding that I run with headphones less and less.

Nutrition: Tailwind. The aid station volunteers seemed to take it a little personally that I never wanted anything from them, but on this shorter ultra, I just needed my Tailwind and I was good. I did get some water late when I was ready for a lack of flavor in my mouth.