38 Miles for 38 Years

I've been wanting to try to do this. I'd heard of people who run their age every year on their birthday, and it sounds like a cool idea. The last couple of years, my birthday has fallen near a race or on a day I was busy, but this was the one; a Friday birthday. So my kids and wife were at school and it was my day off; I could totally knock out 38 miles.

I decided to take the day slowly, run then rest, then run again. It was another hot 95 degree day and I knew it would be a long one. I didn't expect it would be that long.

38 miles isn't that far, I figured. I've run 100 miles, multiple 100k's, and several marathons and 50k distances. So this wouldn't be too bad. What I underestimated was how different it is to run in a race versus my own planned run. There were no other people, no volunteers, no aid stations, and no stakes. It was just me trying to do something I was stupid enough to announce on Facebook. In fact, at mile 14 I looked down at my watch and thought, "If I hadn't told everyone I was doing this, I'd quit right now." To my credit, that's why I posted about it. I knew it would force me to finish.

The run started awkwardly. The kids went to school and I spent a little time fighting crime on Arkham Knight, as I only get time to do on my days off. I figured I'd start around 10am and so I took my time drinking coffee and eating a little. At about 10 I was getting my running stuff on when the doorbell rang. Jason - a friend - had offered to run some with me and was ready to go long before I was. So I grabbed my stuff and we took off. I wasn't quite prepared but I wasn't going to miss out on company. Jason is a good runner who has tended to finish ahead of me in local 5k's and 10k's. I knew this would be a slow run for him since I was planning to go all day. We took off and I immediately had stomach problems. The nerves were hitting me as I questioned whether or not I could complete this, and was frazzled from not being quite ready to go. But 8 miles with Jason was great. We ran a little too fast for what I was doing but definitely slow for his kind of training. We made our way back to my house by 8 miles so I could hydrate and he could get back to his house with a 10 mile total run.

After a little cooling off and getting my bottles full of Tailwind, I took off for the next set of miles. I'd take my nice route out of town around Celebration Park. It would usually end up around 9 miles and would get me a little further in my total. I was trying to get 26 miles done before 3:30pm when my friend Matt was going to run with me for the last 12 miles as he trains for his first marathon. This was not going to happen as I planned.

My solo run was rough. It was getting hotter outside and I was feeling the miles in my legs. I don't think I'd run further than 13 miles since May when I ran the Booneville Backroads 100k in the heat. I really wasn't physically trained for this run.

When I got back to my house at around mile 17, I was over this idea. I'd already considered quitting so I took about an hour to eat some lunch, drink a lot, and cool off on the floor. Finally I convinced myself it was time to go again.

The next section was a route I often run to get about 7.5-8 miles by running to Moonlight Rd, then past Grandstar Elementary to the trail at Gardner Rd. I hit halfway just before the school and couldn't believe how much further I had to go. After Grandstar I found a spot of shade and sat down to rest and cool while looking pathetic as bus drivers waved on their way by. (Shout out to Christelle who saw me and had her bus kids ready to yell "Happy birthday!" on their way back by.)

As I reached the Gardner trail turnaround by I35, I got a text from Matt. He was home from work and ready to go, with Jolie on her bike to join us. I was only a few blocks from their house but I wasn't going to be at 26 miles. I was only at 21.5 miles at that point, so I would owe 4.5 miles to the roads even after Matt's 12. We got together and took off for a slow slow run. We ran back to my house to meet up with my son Carson who wanted to do some miles with us.

Then we hit the Greenway trail, which was great for a little shade, and then a hot run to the high school and back. By this time, I was needing occasional walk breaks and just wanted it to be over. Also, it was getting late for dinner and our tradition of going out to eat was in jeopardy.

So I had an idea... We'd finish Matt's 12 miles at his house, Katie would pick me up, and we'd clean up to go to KC Joe's BBQ. Then, after we got home, I'd knock out the last 4.5 miles when the sun had gone down.

Joe's was a wasted trip. I mean, it was good company and everyone else had a great meal, but I was too nauseous to eat much. Running all day in the heat had taken too much out of me.

When we returned home, Katie decided she would go with me for the last bit of running. I always love having her with me to finish, so it was a great idea. But unfortunately the break from the heat wasn't coming. Though the sun had gone down, the humidity had gone nowhere. Katie and I ran a humid, difficult last 4.5 miles to finish my day at about 10:30pm.

It was just under 7 hours of running separated by cool downs, bottle refills, and BBQ. But I had done it. 38 miles on my 38th birthday. And one major question was answered: could I go further than 26.2 miles in my Vibram FiveFingers on concrete. My V-Trains kept my feet comfortable and blister-free all day, even on hot blacktop and concrete.


Maybe next year I'll run my age in kilometers instead. ;)



PS. I'm so proud of my son Carson, who a week later ran his age on his 12th birthday. He killed it.

The Backroads in Hell

The very first ultra I signed up for, the Booneville Backroads Ultra is my favorite race. The people are awesome, the experience is awesome, and the race is hard. There are no race markings, long distances between aid stations, and inclement weather every year. After completing the 100k in 2016 and the 100 mile last year, I decided I'd come back and give the 100k another go. I am looking for a trail 100 miler this year since my last two were gravel roads, so I didn't want to take the Sunday off to do the 100 miler here. Plus, why not try to break the 12:17 hours that I finished in last time?

It was not going to be a day to run a PR.

For the first time in 3 years there was no rain in the forecast during this race. It hadn't rained for days leading up to it, and Saturday was calling for full sun and heat. I would have never imagined that a hot sunny day would be worse conditions than rain and hail that we ran through last year. But it was hot! The temperatures reached 97 degrees with 104 degree heat index. Adding to that, there wasn't a cloud in the sky or any chance for shade all day. And for the first time ever, no breeze in Iowa.

At first I thought heat would be okay. I run through the summer in the heat of the afternoon, because I hate early mornings, and I was sure it wouldn't affect me.

The race started cool enough and at the 10 mile aid station I was feeling great. As usual, my awesome crew was there - Katie, and our friends Matt and Jolie.

The second aid station isn't until 23 miles in, and I knew that would be a hard 13 miles. It was getting hot and I could tell I was going to go through tons of Tailwind on this day. But the worst part was my feet. My experiences the past two years at Booneville have been wet and that meant soft gravel roads and awful muddy B roads. This year, the roads felt like concrete. And though I was initially ecstatic that the B roads were dry, they actually felt even worse than the gravel. I hadn't realized the break that the mud was on my minimal shoe-wearing feet. My Vibram FiveFingers V-Trail are definitely up for the challenge, but the bottoms of my feet felt it more than I remembered.

By the time I got to the 30 mile aid station, I was hot. And worse, I was chafing. At the 23 station Katie put some ice in my buff and it helped keep me cool around my neck, but it also melted and got my shorts wet. So now they were wet and rubbing my thighs and I'd never chafed this early before. But the ice was a necessity and I took off for what I expected to be the hardest part of the race: the last 12 miles before I get a pacer. And that was a tough stretch, but it didn't prove to be the worst.

At the 42 aid station I thought that I was okay, though I was hot and tired. I don't know if it was the heat or my less than impressive training that led to my very tired legs. But I figured I'd be okay now that Matt would run with me to 53 and then Katie to the end. I was wrong again.

Matt and I took off and soon we were walking at best. More like trudging. I was completely out of energy. And I was hot. Every time I saw shade, we stopped. And after awhile, my bottles were hot and I was starting to feel like I needed something cool. There was nothing to be found. And the hills kept coming.

Matt helped get me through this awful section. He was patient and encouraging, and probably the only reason I actually made it to the next aid station. Several times I had to stop and dry heave on the side of the road, which was a new unwelcome experience in ultras.

Aid Station 53 finally appeared and I took my sweet time cooling off, eating, and getting myself back to form. The volunteers were amazing and helpful, and I started to feel better. And I got to have Katie run with me to finish the race. Most of all, the sun started to go down and the temperature started to drop. And we started to run to the finish.

This was a tough race. Instead of finishing under 12 hours like I planned, it took me 15:07:37 and I finished in 5th place. Everyone took extra time and many of the 100 milers dropped early. But I learned a few things. Like, mud roads are better than super hot days. I can't ever underestimate an ultra. I definitely need to train better.

Next time, Booneville. I'll tame you, yet.

Gear: Garmin Fenix 5X watch, Vibram FiveFingers V-Trail shoes, Injinji Compression socks, Ultimate Direction AK2 vest, Camelback insulated bottles, Tailwind Nutrition, Aftershockz Trekz Titanium bone-conduction headphones, Booneville buff, Goodr sunglasses, Road ID bracelet (in case I died on the side of the road).

Radioactive - Thyroid Cancer Version

Since Katie and I have both endured a life with Thyroid Cancer, we wanted to share a little about that. Radioactive Iodine treatment especially is a bit of an adventure. 

A Match Made in Thyroid Heaven

My Thyroid Cancer story for Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month.

I was standing in line for "Superman", the new roller coaster at Six Flags Great America, with a group of teenagers from the church I served as Minister to Youth when I got the call.  The day before I went in for a biopsy of my thyroid, and they told me I'd hear back in a week.  It's never good when they call you the next day.  Let me back up.  I was 24 years old when I found a lump on my neck.  My doctor ordered an ultrasound, but the wrong one.  Instead of looking at the lump under my chin, the ultrasound tech spent her time down at the bottom of my neck.  It was there - as she looked in the wrong place - that she found a tumor.  (Papillary Carcinoma)

You know what's not the best thing to hear as a 24 year old man?  "You have middle-aged woman cancer."  Okay, that's not literally what they said, but a little research showed that Thyroid Cancer was most commonly found in women over 40. (It's occurrences have since been growing in people of all ages and gender.) I had surgery to remove my thyroid and then Radioactive Iodine Ablation afterwards.  (That was an interesting two days in the hospital with everything covered in plastic and getting checked daily with a Geiger Counter.)  And I was done.  So I thought.

When I was first diagnosed, I was told it was the "good cancer" to get because the mortality rate was low and the cancer grows slowly. So I was sure that a little surgery and radiation treatment would knock it out and I'd be done. But this "good cancer" wasn't quite as easy as I thought. 

Shortly after my 5 year Cancerversary, my annual neck ultrasound showed a lymph node looking “atypical”.  So we started all over again.  Let me take this opportunity to petition for a name-change for surgery to remove lymph nodes in the neck.  No one wants to go in for a "Radical Neck Dissection".  But again, surgery and Radioactive Iodine were my roadmap. In the 8 years since that occurrence, “atypical” lymph nodes on my other side have been a concern, but they’ve been too small to biopsy. I’m just waiting for the day when we check them out too. (Though an “atypical” node isn’t as concerning to my doctors as a “suspicious” looking one, for me it’s meant the Cancer is back.)

I’d had enough of Thyroid Cancer by this time. (2015) I’d had to deal with treating it twice, and many people I knew were diagnosed and would come to me to learn more about the process of treatment. Then, 10 years after my initial diagnosis, my wife Katie was diagnosed with a different kind of Thyroid Cancer. (Follicular Carcinoma) There is nothing "good" about this Cancer. Katie had 2 surgeries to remove the thyroid, and then her own batch of RAI as well. Her reactions to RAI were stronger and she dealt with pain in her salivary glands for about a year, and had more trouble than I did with balancing her thyroid hormones with medication.

It’s an odd thing to go from Thyroid Cancer patient to caregiver and from caregiver to Thyroid Cancer patient as Katie and I have. There’s no doubt that she is a much better caregiver than I am. She’s probably a better patient than me too. (This isn’t too surprising; I always knew I married up.) But our experience with this disease was very valuable as Katie went through it.

Here's what we've learned through dealing with cancer.

There is one Great Physician.  Doctors are wonderful, but only One has the power to heal.  It was a doctor's mistake that led to finding my cancer.  And both times I was diagnosed, the doctors were sure it wasn't going to be cancer.  God knew, and looking back, I believe He worked the details to find this hidden disease in my body.  And there's a bonus.  God will also prove faithful in being with us as we go through difficult times. He has been faithful to us each time we’ve dealt with this disease.

Bad news has a great way of mobilizing God's people.  The support we received from family, friends, and church was overwhelming.  Everyone needs support when the C word gets thrown around.

Being a "survivor" is a great club, even if no one really wants to join.  Everyone has been touched by cancer in one way or another, and those that have battled it have an instant connection.  As a pastor, I'm grateful for my experience with cancer every time I sit with a family dealing with the news for the first time.

Cancer support organizations are wonderful; but do me a favor.  I already had to deal with having a cancer common in women, but choosing the colors pink, purple, and teal with a butterfly symbol certainly didn't make me want to proudly display Thyroid Cancer Awareness.  Give a guy a break. ;) 

On Jonah

Yesterday I began a 2 week sermon series on the book of Jonah and the story of a prophet who is defiant and disobedient to the call of His God. It seems absolutely relevant in this time as images of white supremacists marching in Charlottesville are all over the news; including stories of violence and terror. Many of these racists even have the audacity to claim their faith in God informs their beliefs on race. It's evil. But it's familiar.

Jonah was told by God to go to a people that he hated to tell them that they'd better repent or they would be judged. And he ran. But he didn't run because he was afraid. He ran because he knew that God was merciful and he didn't want God to forgive those whom Jonah hated. He didn't want his enemies to experience the love of their Creator.

As this group of white Americans look at people with darker skin as a hated "other" who they want to "take their country back from", I see the hate of Jonah. A people who can't imagine God's love extending to those they hate and fear. But this is defiance toward the God who created, loves, and sent His Son for every one of His children of this world. (As the song says, "red, brown, yellow, black, and white.")

But I also see myself in Jonah as I look toward the disgusting acts of white supremacy. Like Jonah I want to see judgment and condemnation for people that could treat others with such hate. (After all, there may have been some legitimacy to Jonah's anger toward Ninevah.) But I too must obey the call to love and forgive those who commit atrocities. And to proclaim the Gospel to them. So I have to search my heart too, for the sin that lurks in my thoughts towards those that do such terrible things.

We are broken; all of us. And things have to change. The sins of Jonah don't have to live on in us. And I believe Jesus is actively working to bring reconciliation to this world. May we be a part of that work.

Back to Booneville for the Buckle!

My last 100 mile race didn't go the way I wanted it to. That's the short of it. You can read all about it here but basically, a pulled quad muscle 40 miles in doomed me to a slow and difficult finish. I hate not reaching my goals.

So back to the Booneville Backroads Ultra to take on the full 100 mile race. Last year this was my first 100k race and I loved it. (That story is here.) It's a super challenging midwest race on the gravel roads around Des Moines. The race director Steve Cannon is awesome and intent on making sure you earn the moniker of Booneville Badass. The course is unmarked and requires cue cards to find your way through, there are miles of Class B Roads - which are awful mud roads in May, and the hills are not what you picture when you think of Iowa. (Steve is a badass in his own right. You can learn more about him and check out his awesome book at http://www.expandyourpossible.com.)

I wasn't sure if I was ready for this. In January my family moved from Mount Pleasant, Iowa to our new home in Gardner, Kansas and moving makes training tough. A new job, new schools for our kids, and a new community means not as much time for running. But eventually things calmed down a bit so that I could get my miles in, and my fitness felt pretty good. But I had no idea if my quad would be a problem again or if some other injury would manifest itself. I never really could explain what happened at the Heartland 100. I didn't slip or fall to pull that muscle, and I'd never had any problems with it before. In my training since, my quad felt fine, but I had no idea if it would hold up or not for another race.

The strategy was easy. Be ready. Unlike last year when the mud roads broke my spirit at Booneville, I knew they were coming and wouldn't let them ruin me. Unlike at the Heartland, I had now been through a 100 mile race and knew I could endure the sleepiness and exhaustion. So the key was, make sure my nutrition was good, run smart, and keep going.

I didn't have super lofty goals for this race, but I was intent on reaching them. First, I wanted to finish in under 24 hours. I felt like that would be a respectable time. Second, I wanted to finish in the top 10 of the race. Of course, with midwest ultramarathons there aren't usually a ton of runners, so that should have been doable with an under 24 hours finish. Third, don't hate it. I wanted to try to enjoy this race and not just try to get through it. (I have a tendency to "get through" instead of embrace the moment.)

Let me take a second to stop and say I have the best crew ever. Once again, friends Matt and Jolie as well as my amazing wife Katie were ready to help me all day and pace me through the night. But this time we also had my awesome sister-in-law Jenny helping out. I could never do this stuff without their help and cannot thank them all enough for their selflessness.

I did not sleep well before the race. I never sleep great, but on this night I made the mistake of checking the weather forecast before bed and then could think of nothing other than 14 hours of running in the rain. I slept maybe 2.5 hours that night. Not a good way to start.

We got to the Booneville start in good time and I felt good. So my crew and I waited around for the march to the starting line led by bagpipes and drums. It's awesome! I also caught up with Brad Dains, who I only knew via Facebook from last year's race. Before the start of the race, Steve gave another great speech in preparation. This year what stuck for me was, "There are only 2 things that can last forever today... A DNF or the hardware you win when you finish. You choose which one you're going to remember." I had been asked to give a prayer before the race so I did my best to ask for God's blessing while not being too long or too offensive for those not interested in this.  And it was on.

On races like this, I usually begin by paying attention to find someone who could run my pace and would be up for chatting. I've been blessed by awesome people to run with in previous ultras. Early in this race it was Brad. We began running together and chatting about our lives, running histories, and struggles. We ran together for most of the first 25 miles through the first two aid stations. My crew was at each station and, as always, was helpful getting what I needed. As we left the 23 miles station, we knew what was to come, but we couldn't have known how it would go.

I had planned to switch shoes at the 23 station so I could muddy up my VFF Spyridon MR Elites during that stretch and then put my V-Trails back on. But it hadn't been as rainy this week and wasn't supposed to rain until 1pm, so I figured I'd keep going with what I had. Bad idea.

About a mile before Brad and I reached the B roads, the sky went crazy. Brad had been dealing with some stomach problems and was trying to push through them, but also had told me over and over that I could take off if I needed to. When the storm came, as much as I enjoyed having a friend to run with, I wanted to get through the mud before it got worse. So off I went. For the next mile or so I ran into sideways rain, hail, and what seemed like way too close lightning. My best plan was to keep my head down and keep moving as fast as I could. Luckily the harsh storm didn't last too long and the rain only continued for about an hour.

Then I came to the mud. Last year I hated it. It slowed me down, broke my will, and hurt my time. This year I embraced it. And I ran. Thanks to my Vibrams, I could run and slide through the mud without too much sticking to my shoes or slowing me down. I passed several people who were trudging as I did last year. It may have been my favorite part this year.








The next parts of the race were the hardest of all. After the 30 mile aid station, there was a long stretch to 42, where 100k racers get to add pacers. Then a long 11 miles to the 53 aid station and the hilly, tough stretch to the 100k finish line. It was in the 40's that I realized that my legs were beginning to feel the miles. And running the parts that last year included my pacers made it harder. During the stretch from 53 to 62 I met up with David, a 100k runner who I'd see multiple times throughout the day. Knowing he was almost finished made me pretty jealous of the idea of being finished. But quitting never came into my mind.

At the Start/Finish line I got to have my first pacer. Matt took off with me for a 10 mile stretch, and it was great having him to run with. I couldn't believe how much faster the miles ticked away with a friend to run with; even though we were definitely going slower than earlier in the day. At the 72 miles station, Katie jumped in to pace me for 5 miles. (Don't tell anyone, but she's still my favorite to run with.)

We were well into the night by this time with headlamps leading our way. Next came Jolie, who paced me for 6 miles.

With 17 miles to the finish, my sister-in-law Jenny took over as my pacer and went with me through 2 stations and for 11 miles. Jenny was the "lucky" one to get to run through the "mud mile" of the 50k course. After a clear afternoon and evening, the mud had turned into heavy clay that made trudging through it difficult. Especially after over 85 miles of running already done. Jenny and I ran back in to the Start/Finish line for the second time as we finished up the 50k loop. This is the mentally toughest part of the race. I've just run 94 miles and have to run the incredibly long road to the Start/Finish line knowing I still have to go back out for 6 more miles.

After a couple minutes at the aid station, Katie and I were ready to go out. With about an hour and a half before 6am and the 24 hour goal time, we were going to have to move. Normally a 10k is well under an hour run for me, but after all these miles this would be tough. Oh, and that evil race director Steve Cannon did us no favors in regards to hills on this last loop either. ;)

So Katie and I ran. We ran the whole 10k loop - except for a couple large uphills. The sun began to come up and fog started to hover over the ground, and we ran. I could tell Katie was tired too, but she never wavered as we pushed through to finish strong. 

I finished the 100 miles in 23:47:19 - almost 13 minutes under my goal. And I finished 8th overall - within my goal of a top 10 finish. Steve Cannon was there at the finish line with my medal and more importantly, the coolest buckle around. I'll be wearing this one constantly.

I love this race. It's hard to describe why, but there is something about the group of people that run it and the man that puts it on. And I'm so grateful for the ability and opportunity to do crazy things like running 100 miles on the gravel roads of Iowa and Kansas.

I'm not sure what else I'll do this year. My Garmin and my Yasso 800's seem to think I could qualify for Boston so the Kansas City Marathon may be in store for October just to try. I certainly need to find some other trail ultras for this summer and fall.


My Favorite Gear:

• Garmin Fenix 5X - I. Love. This. Watch. I was able to track, use mapping navigation, and even live track my run with only the need to charge on the go once during the race. 
• Vibram FiveFingers - I ran all but 12 miles in the V-Trails, which are my all time favorite Vibrams. For one stretch after the mud, I put on my Trek Ascents, but since my last 100, they are a bit stretched out and let too many rocks in. So at the next station, I was back in my V-Trails.
• Injinji Compression 2.0 socks - The new generation of compression socks are a huge jump from the last ones. 
• Tailwind Nutrition - This gets me through. I supplement with food at aid stations so I don't feel hungry in my stomach, but Tailwind is what fuels me for these races.
• Ultimate Direction hydration vest - I added a Nathan insulated bottle and it was great at keeping my drinks cold.
• Flipbelt - the best phone carrier around. 
• Road ID - My wristband with emergency info just in case. Love what this company offers.
• Black Diamond Storm Headlamp - 350 lumens and waterproof
• Patagonia Houdini jacket - Lightweight and water resistant for the downpour.
• Rev Run Crew Box - My awesome Christmas gift from Matt and Jolie. A great rolling plastic tote full of all my running gear and customized for me. Everyone was jealous. 
  

Ultra Spiritual

I heard running ultras could be a spiritual experience. The mix of long days and night, extreme physical exertion, and mental anguish can lead to some incredible highs and lows. This is what I was looking to experience. I wanted to know what this kind of running would do to me, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Emotionally, I know that it messed me up for a few days. As a non-emotional person, I experienced some rawness to my emotions that is very rare for me. It culminated in uncontrollable laughing fits for a few days after the race.

Physically, it challenged my body in ways I'd never been pushed before. You can read more about that here.

So what did running 100 miles in 26 hours do to me spiritually?

I always struggle with my call when it comes to race days. Outside of my job and ministry, I often find myself wanting to compartmentalize my life into a focus on the thing I'm doing. So when I show up to run a race, I want to let running be the emphasis of my day. I want to ignore who I am and how I'm called so I can just be a normal runner trying to reach my goals.

But that's not what God wants from us, is it? He doesn't want me to put my relationship with Jesus into a FBC compartment that comes out when appropriate. He wants me to let Him into my life at every level; being a representative of Him in whatever I'm doing.

This race, I was ready for that. I knew that I had a challenge ahead of me just in trying to run and finish such a long distance. But I also knew that my identity as a disciple of Jesus had to come out too in whatever ways I had opportunity.

So when I ran with two other guys and the subject of my job came up, I couldn't back down. I'm always afraid that if I tell strangers that I'm a Pastor, the air will change and it will become awkward. I fear that because it happens all the time. Not on this day. As the three of us with different spiritual backgrounds - cultural Mormon, atheist, Baptist - talked more and more into the day, I found that my opportunity was great. Though I wasn't there to walk them through the Gospel so they could stop running to say "the sinner's prayer", I did have every opportunity to show them a picture of Jesus and of Christians that is a far cry from what we see in the news. I prayed for these two awesome guys, I talked openly about my identity in Jesus, and listened to their ideas and thoughts about life, politics, and religion.

But then I got hurt. As my leg seized up and pain forced me to back off of running, I had to let my new friends go on ahead. "God, why would you let some stupid injury keep me from continuing with these guys?" I had actually tried to make sure I was running with purpose. Couldn't He have protected me from pulling a quad for that continued conversation? Wouldn't that glorify Him better than me limping along the gravel?

What a reminder of the mystery of God. We often like to think that He is more like a formula than a being. If only I do this, then God will do this... It doesn't work that way. Not only that, but blaming God for a pulled muscle is shallow theology. More likely, I turned wrong, slipped on a rock, or didn't cross-train enough to strengthen myself for this run.

But there I was... limping and praying. My words were these, "God, I know this is not the most important thing in the world. But I really want to finish this race. Can you help with this leg situation?" Over and over and asked God for His intervention. And believe me, I knew how little this mattered. Running 100 miles literally means nothing to the world. In fact, it can easily become a problem of pride when we just want to show people how great or tough we are. But I pleaded nonetheless.

And I made a deal. (Don't act like you haven't done it.) I offered that if God could help me to continue this race, I would make sure to give Him the credit. Though toughness has always been my most prized value, I would admit that it was not my own toughness but God's grace that allowed me to finish after an injury at 40 miles. Brutal honesty: I haven't quite lived up to my end of that deal. Ugh, pride.

There's a quote from British Olympic gold medalist Eric Liddell from the movie "Chariots of Fire" that always goes through my head when I'm running. He says to his sister, "God made me for a purpose. But He also made me fast... and when I run, I feel His pleasure."

As I pushed my body, mind, and spirit to continue under difficult circumstances - pulled quad, exhaustion, pain - I could feel the God who was there with me. Again, this may not be among the most important things I do in my life, but I believe God blesses our passions. And I can glorify Him even when doing "nonspiritual things".

A couple of other learnings...

I am a starter and not a finisher. I am impatient. I tend to look past things based on the time it will take to finish them. So ultrarunning may be exactly what I need. I'm learning patience, persistence, and how to stay in the moment. God will use those virtues in me as I continue to grow in Him.

We are not meant to be alone. I would have been lost without my crew. Matt: driving to aid stations, filling bottles, offering encouragement. Jolie and Katie: helping Matt but also running with me into the night as I began to hallucinate and just wanted to sleep. It's possible to run these things alone, but I can't imagine it. I'm reminded that none of us are created to be alone. Out of the community of God's Trinity, we are made and called into community; with each other, with God.

This was a tough race, but one in which I feel like God was at work. And He still is. As memories of that day continue to float back to me, I'm learning more of how God can use these experiences to change me.

So I'm not done. Now I'm praying for recovery and good health... cause there are more races in the spring.